Lonely is What Lonely Does

Is Lonely a choice? For me, Lonely sometimes is good … and sometimes Lonely is a deep feeling of sadness.

Today I feel Lonely again … and I know this time it is my choice. I just don’t like it … but what can I do?  Perhaps today I will choose something different.

The crazy thing is, I don’t even know what my choices are … so how can I choose.

I always thought I was open to new possibilities … possibilities of what I don’t know … open to unknown choices that are waiting for me to say “hello” to … choices that are waiting to embrace me.

But will my ego allow me to venture out in these new uncharted waters … will that little man inside my head try to talk me out of it … my precious ego, keeper of my soul. 

Perhaps today I will be brave enough to take back this guardianship of my soul once and for all … and offer myself the freedom to explore new possibilities of what Lonely is … and what Lonely is not.

And perhaps I will even discover the realm of allowing myself to be loved for who I am … and not be Lonely anymore.

Bridge to the Other Side

My life journey recently came upon a great river to cross over … I knew I needed to cross so that I may continue my journey that was waiting for me on the other side.  

I stood there looking at the other side ... I could see there was my work I must do … but still did not know how to cross … but then I found a way ...

Sharing God’s Love

was my Bridge to the Other Side

 Champion of Intentions 

While at a recent seminar, I was caught by surprise as I tuned into an intriguing statement I heard … “We judge others by their actions and judge ourselves by our intentions.” How true I thought … and then realized how I had become a Champion of Intentions … and that I had been living too much of my life in this manner. 

But yesterday I saw yet another aspect of this statement … it was prompted by a coaching session I had just finished with a client … an aspect about intentions and actions that was an awakening for me. 

I thought to myself, “Yes, even with all my imperfections, I still love myself” … but then realized too much of this love for myself has been mostly through intention and not enough action … the reality of actually doing things for myself and with myself and not just thinking about those wonderful things that someday I would do. 

Many years ago I wrote this thought about Love … “Action and words go hand and hand … and all good love is so free … but remember action speaks louder than words … and that’s how love should be.” 

For the first time I understood that what I said not only applied to the love I shared in a relationship with another … but also applied to the love I shared with myself … to love myself with actions and not just wishful intentions.  

I went to bed that night knowing I had found another revealing piece to my “Life Puzzle” and placed it in my “Life Picture” at the right spot … a piece that represented the start of a conscious shift from being a Champion of Intention to a Champion of Action. 

I recently attended a five day  ‘Coach” workshop in Boulder, CO with 60 other people from as far away as Hong Kong. It was an extraordinary gathering in ways for me I could only hope for ... but had no idea what it was I would be hoping for ... but got it any way. So many new puzzle pieces were put in place in Ronnie's life "puzzle" picture as more of the picture was revealed to me. So many. Wow!

On my way to Boulder as I gazed out the window of the plane, many thoughts began lining up in my mind to be "contemplated" by me during the flight. Soon I found myself thinking about the words I recently shared with a friend. 

"When you fall in love again, make sure it is the beauty of what is in the inside of each of you that you love and adore ... this is what truly matters ... and this takes time to know. Don't be blinded by the beauty on the outside. And don't think that your own beauty on the outside is what's going to hold a relationship/partnership together as the years go by. You already did that experiment and you know the results." 

Now as these thoughts went through my mind ... all of a sudden they stopped and there was silence... and the little man inside my head began talking to me. "So my friend what do you think. Isn't time to begin following your own advice. Invite the Love and beauty that has been bottled up deep inside you for so many years to be free at last. Let this beauty and Joy shine from you heart and soul and let it touch all that are with you ." 

While attending the workshop, for the first time in my life, I let my inner self free to be with others in wonderful, wonderful ways as a Joyful unconditional Love began to flow outward from my very being. I have never felt such a continuous flow of Joy radiating from my heart and soul before ... almost non-stop from Wednesday to Sunday ... and it felt"soooooo" good. I am grateful toNewfield Network,sponsor of this wonderful workshop, for creating the safe space that made this possible.

"As long as you have Faith and Trust in God, never be afraid to show your Love by saying or doing Loving things."

To Know God

See what God sees.
Hear what God hears.
Taste what God tastes.

Smell what God smells.
And feel what God feels.

Then you can begin to know God.

If God's gift to Human Beings was Planet Earth ... 

Then does it not make sense … 

what we Human Beings do with Planet Earth … 

is our gift back to God.

Hope you don’t mind, but I want to share one more thought that is in my heart of hearts.  Often when I’m with friends we spend hours trying to figure out all the answers the world problems … and sometimes I think we do actually find those answers … but the only real answer I consistently find is this … “Invite and appreciate Joy in your life every day and share it unconditionally with those around you.” I ask … as human beings, isn’t this what our existence is really about? 

And now I will make a declaration of heart … “I declare I will share this possibility of Joy with those who are in my world … some known to me and some unknown.” This is the consciousness of possibilities and opportunities I will share … so that others have the opportunity to choose … one at a time … a consciousness that embraces and appreciates Joy in their life every day. 

So what’s left here? If you already have not guessed … the need to define “What really is the domain of Joy all about?”  (Please note … that’s Joy spelled with a capital J.)  My hope is perhaps one day we as brothers and as friends will have the opportunity to be in the same space and share our answers ... and maybe after some dialogue even find that we agree.

 And so that’s how “it” is for me. And now that I have written my thoughts and have read and re-read them … I find such beliefs a little bit closer to transforming themselves from a virtual reality trapped deep in my soul to that of becoming a reality in the here and now … a reality I will cherish and experience with those around me.

Continued Peace and Love ...

(Note: Transparencies are beliefs in your life that what you know is how it is ... and the possibility that it could be any other way is transparent to you.)

-- Transparencies --

I now understand the fact that in too many ways I have not become my own person … letting my family and environmental transparencies I have unknowingly accumulated over the past 60+ years, overlay the “who” that I have become and allowed this “who” to inadvertently remain buried underneath them.  I now find I have allowed such transparencies to unknowingly block this “who” from freely expressing itself whenever there was conflict between the “who” and the transparencies.

Here’s an interesting thing. The mirror exercise you suggested I do is a challenging one for me … you see, often when I look in the mirror, I am reminded of you my brother, as we have many facial similarities. But I did take a good look at my unshaven face this morning while brushing my teeth. I looked deep in my eyes and thought something like, “Ronald, you are an incredible person … not perfect by any means … and thank goodness you are also a little crazy. I love you for who you are … right now … you. Now go out there in your crazy way and share your Joy with those you see today and accept the love you get from anyone who chooses to give it to you.  And for sure … do me a favor, when you look in the mirror, stop seeing Herbert and start seeing Ronald.”

This all leads to another observation that I need to fully check out. You being my older and only brother … a person who I have always held in my mind, high on a pedestal … are a huge source of my transparencies I have lived with for as long as I can remember … thus a powerful overlay on defining who I am. Now some of this transparency is imaginary of course and some not ... with some good and some not … but regardless, all these transparencies I am discovering are very real to me. And I now understand that none of this makes any difference … nor how or why this has happened … as I can’t change the past.

As I write these thoughts I am listening to Debussy’s Claire de lune calming and enchanting melody being played on the piano.

And me … I too am doing well ... but still on the same old journey I have been on for a while … and now after all this time ready to say enough … there is nothing more I need to learn from this journey again  … time to move on. And I will soon leave the dust of the old warn out path behind … and begin a new journey on a fresh path to a yet-to-be-determined destination.

A phone call yesterday from my brother was a catalyst that allowed me to say out loud and observe what I refer to as “it” … some of my deep inner feelings that have not gotten fresh air for a long time … and for some it was the first time … that have been locked up inside me.

Please know that I am never sure of what the “it” of the moment is until I take the opportunity to let these feelings free to surface and observe. Talking with my brother was such an opportunity for me and so without thought took advantage of it.

For most of my life I have stuffed lots of “it” inside of me over and over again … and only recently have been willing to acknowledge and observe “it” with a purpose … to identify “it” and then as needed create an action to support the process of changing or getting rid of “it”.  I recognize that only by observing and then choosing an action is there a possibility for change.

Making such observations authentically is important to me so that I can take a meaningful look at those chunks of my “program code” that has been running my life … and then determine how and if the program code needs to be reworked or debugged … or if this program code happens to be so tangled up that it has become what I call throw-away-code … which means I must replace the old program code and write new program code as I choose it to be.

 And then I get to see the results of my actions … sometimes immediate and sometimes over time … sometimes with desired results and sometimes not. And I also recognize the importance to regularly take the opportunity to observe myself and how I am assessing the world around me … so that I can continually stay grounded and evolve into the person I choose to be.

For me, I know I will continue to evolve until my last day.

(more to follow -  Part-II "Transparencies")