Thoughts to my Brother - Part II "Transparencies"

(Note: Transparencies are beliefs in your life that what you know is how it is ... and the possibility that it could be any other way is transparent to you.)

-- Transparencies --

I now understand the fact that in too many ways I have not become my own person … letting my family and environmental transparencies I have unknowingly accumulated over the past 60+ years, overlay the “who” that I have become and allowed this “who” to inadvertently remain buried underneath them.  I now find I have allowed such transparencies to unknowingly block this “who” from freely expressing itself whenever there was conflict between the “who” and the transparencies.

Here’s an interesting thing. The mirror exercise you suggested I do is a challenging one for me … you see, often when I look in the mirror, I am reminded of you my brother, as we have many facial similarities. But I did take a good look at my unshaven face this morning while brushing my teeth. I looked deep in my eyes and thought something like, “Ronald, you are an incredible person … not perfect by any means … and thank goodness you are also a little crazy. I love you for who you are … right now … you. Now go out there in your crazy way and share your Joy with those you see today and accept the love you get from anyone who chooses to give it to you.  And for sure … do me a favor, when you look in the mirror, stop seeing Herbert and start seeing Ronald.”

This all leads to another observation that I need to fully check out. You being my older and only brother … a person who I have always held in my mind, high on a pedestal … are a huge source of my transparencies I have lived with for as long as I can remember … thus a powerful overlay on defining who I am. Now some of this transparency is imaginary of course and some not ... with some good and some not … but regardless, all these transparencies I am discovering are very real to me. And I now understand that none of this makes any difference … nor how or why this has happened … as I can’t change the past.